office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
