He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize