there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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