I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
