i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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