I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize