her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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