I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
