question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
