Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
