I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
