he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
