Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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