Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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