sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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