Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
