fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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