Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
