She is in my trunk
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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