i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
