Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
