im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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