Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
