Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The power of my boobs compel you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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