If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
