You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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