you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
