So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
