Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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