Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i believe in u and ur pee
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
