we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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