Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
