i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
