I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
being pregnant is like rehab
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
