grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
