he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
