Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
