tonight lets celebrate not being married
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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