totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
