i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
