i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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