my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
