3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize