He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
