I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
