My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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