my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
