Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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