walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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