she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
