Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
