Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
