My nipple is on Facebook.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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