It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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