Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
