Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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