found the other keg... it's in the tree
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i think my cat just said my name.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
