i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
