I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
