Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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