She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
