i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
