I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
