just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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