At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
