I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
